The scribbled sticky notes all over my desk tell me I'm behind on blogging! Instead of a tip and a resource, today my followers get treat: lots of zingers, funny one-liners spoken or written by my students. These have not been edited! Enjoy.
Today's Zinger #1: I was talking with a student about an argumentative essay we were analyzing. Here's how the conversation went:
Teacher: That issue has another side.
Student: Yeah, it's a double-edged sword.
Teacher: Is there any part of the argument that you can grab onto?
Student: How can you grab onto a double-edged sword?
Zinger #2: "Mrs. Kratzer, what is the abbreviation for May?"
Zinger #3: (During a lesson on The Civil Rights Movement)
"Selma--wasn't that a movie where they drove off a cliff?"
Zinger #4: "Glitter is the herpes of art. Once you got it, you can't get rid of it."
Zinger #5: "Ima a jack you for your church shoes."
Zinger #6: "I read it somewhere, I don't know--maybe on that link to that online newspaper, the Huff and Puff."
Zinger #7: "I am mug-shot serious."
Monday, February 25, 2013
Thursday, December 6, 2012
The Birds and the Bees
Today's Zinger: I actually overhead this conversation in my Creative Writing class today:
Male Student A: What are "the birds and the bees?"
Female Student B: You know, the sex talk.
Male Student A: My parents don't talk about that stuff. Will you tell me?
Female Student B: Uh, no.
Male Student A: C'mon, I wanna hear the story.
Female Student B: Why birds and bees anyway? That can't work out. Hey, baby, hold still (student is now thrusting her pelvis). Why birds and bees? They aren't even the same size.
ME: (Because I had to jump in) It's not birds with bees; it's birds with birds and bees with bees.
Female Student A: So, why don't they call it the "birds talk?"
Male Student B: Why do they use two animals anyway?
Female Student A: Well, they can't use a human and an animal.
Male Student B: That won't work anyway. Animals can't have sex with humans.
Female Student A: Yes they can!
Male Student B: Oh, yeah. Beastiology.
Male Student A: What are "the birds and the bees?"
Female Student B: You know, the sex talk.
Male Student A: My parents don't talk about that stuff. Will you tell me?
Female Student B: Uh, no.
Male Student A: C'mon, I wanna hear the story.
Female Student B: Why birds and bees anyway? That can't work out. Hey, baby, hold still (student is now thrusting her pelvis). Why birds and bees? They aren't even the same size.
ME: (Because I had to jump in) It's not birds with bees; it's birds with birds and bees with bees.
Female Student A: So, why don't they call it the "birds talk?"
Male Student B: Why do they use two animals anyway?
Female Student A: Well, they can't use a human and an animal.
Male Student B: That won't work anyway. Animals can't have sex with humans.
Female Student A: Yes they can!
Male Student B: Oh, yeah. Beastiology.
Monday, November 26, 2012
HUGE TpT Sale Monday and Tuesday
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Polynesia: A Place or a Sauce?
Today's Zinger: In a conversation with two students who are Baltimore Ravens fans, one of them pronounced Haloti Ngata's last name with a hard g. I said, "It's 'Nata;' the g is silent. He's Polynesian." The other student said, "Polynesia is a place? I thought it was just a sauce at Chik-fil-A!"
Today's Tip: I tried something new this week, and I thought it was worth sharing. My juniors wrote an essay analyzing Patrick Henry's "Speech to the Virginia Convention," and the results were less than stellar. The rubric (a generic one based on the AP English Language exam) is on a scale of 1 to 9. I told them to rewrite their essays based on my comments and aim for a score of 8. I met one-on-one with students after school yesterday and dealt with "biggest bang for the buck" strategies. The revisions I got today were remarkably improved!
Today's Resource: I discovered a website on Monday, and I was delighted by all the freebies. Check out all these graphic organizers!
Today's Tip: I tried something new this week, and I thought it was worth sharing. My juniors wrote an essay analyzing Patrick Henry's "Speech to the Virginia Convention," and the results were less than stellar. The rubric (a generic one based on the AP English Language exam) is on a scale of 1 to 9. I told them to rewrite their essays based on my comments and aim for a score of 8. I met one-on-one with students after school yesterday and dealt with "biggest bang for the buck" strategies. The revisions I got today were remarkably improved!
Today's Resource: I discovered a website on Monday, and I was delighted by all the freebies. Check out all these graphic organizers!
Monday, October 8, 2012
The International Bachelorette Programme
Today's Zingers: I asked some teacher buddies to contribute to the blog today, and I got these responses from friends Christina and Lynn:
I was teaching Romeo and Juliet and a young man was trying to express that he was growing bored with the story, and he said to me, “This story is so monogamous.” I told him that technically, yes it was, but I thought he meant to say “monotonous” and then explained what the definitions of the two words were. The best part: He then argued that he was right and I was wrong. Ugh.
Today's Tip: I tend to teach in small chunks, hover over them until students demonstrate proficiency, and then move on. Here's my tip: Instead of evaluating an entire draft, have an essay come to you in pieces. For example, if you have 30 students in a class, you can zip through 30 body paragraphs and give instant feedback. The next day, students revise that one paragraph and then plan and draft the next. You'll find that the second body paragraph that comes in will be a bit more refined than the first, and you may avoid marking the same issues over and over. This strategy is especially helpful with struggling students.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
The Kissing Chair
Today I tried out an activity created by Effie Cannon. I gave each student a piece of paper with several parts of speech listed vertically. I had half the students start at the bottom and the other half at the top, folding their papers after they had written the word required. We passed the papers around a circle and repeated the action until each sheet was filled. Students did not know what was on the paper they received. Students then unfurled their papers and found a complete (fairly nonsensical) sentence. They tweaked the verb tense to make it work and then wrote each sentence on the board. These are the sentences they created. WARNING: I HAVE NOT EDITED SEXUAL OR POLITICALLY INCORRECT CONTENT. THESE ARE THE ACTUAL SENTENCES STUDENTS CREATED BY ACCIDENT!
The blue rhino is kissing a very elaborate skyscraper.
The Asian girl is really limping the special window.
A butt-ugly teacher is unfortunately squishing a stupified house.
The ugly kangaroo was happily thrusting the stupendous apartment.
The indigo mother was thrustingly tackling the greasy Mexican boy.
The slow Asian girl had spiritually impaled the Negro water.
A pretty elephant seal was gently stroking a secret paper.
The kissing chair is stupendously attacking the red acne.
The ridiculous soccer mom was mostly trapezed on the spacious hibachi.
A dumb worker had hurriedly thrusted the green platypus poop.
Why try this exercise? My students found it to be a great parts of speech review although that wasn't my purpose. I wanted to make the point that writers DO NOT structure their sentences by accident, that we are VERY deliberate about the placement of words. I moved from this "game" to an analysis of syntax in a short passage.
The blue rhino is kissing a very elaborate skyscraper.
The Asian girl is really limping the special window.
A butt-ugly teacher is unfortunately squishing a stupified house.
The ugly kangaroo was happily thrusting the stupendous apartment.
The indigo mother was thrustingly tackling the greasy Mexican boy.
The slow Asian girl had spiritually impaled the Negro water.
A pretty elephant seal was gently stroking a secret paper.
The kissing chair is stupendously attacking the red acne.
The ridiculous soccer mom was mostly trapezed on the spacious hibachi.
A dumb worker had hurriedly thrusted the green platypus poop.
Why try this exercise? My students found it to be a great parts of speech review although that wasn't my purpose. I wanted to make the point that writers DO NOT structure their sentences by accident, that we are VERY deliberate about the placement of words. I moved from this "game" to an analysis of syntax in a short passage.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
They caught a case of heredity.
Today's Zinger: My Creative Writing/Biology combination class is working on a research paper on stem cells. One girl wrote in her draft, "For some people, diet and exercise were not enough to avoid cardiovascular disease. They caught a case of heredity." (By the way, this student has probably asked me ten times if I posted her funny sentence yet, so yes, I do get permission from the students before I post their funny lines.)
Today's Tip: Research indicates that you can get the most bang for your buck teaching writing at the sentence level with mini lessons on structure. Today as a bellringer review, my students pulled compound-complex sentences from their writing --or what they they thought were compound-complex sentences--and put them on the board. Each student had to go to a different sentence and mark the independent and dependent clauses and determine whether or not it was CD-CX. The kids got to move, evaluate, and socialize--the trifecta of teendom!
Today's Resource: I have two free resources for my teaching buddies today.
The first is a chart to help students analyze tonight's presidential debate.
Obama-Romney "Debate" Analysis Chart
The second is a handy PDF for making a Formative Flip, a quick assessment tool that can be used in ANY classroom.
Formative Flip
Today's Tip: Research indicates that you can get the most bang for your buck teaching writing at the sentence level with mini lessons on structure. Today as a bellringer review, my students pulled compound-complex sentences from their writing --or what they they thought were compound-complex sentences--and put them on the board. Each student had to go to a different sentence and mark the independent and dependent clauses and determine whether or not it was CD-CX. The kids got to move, evaluate, and socialize--the trifecta of teendom!
Today's Resource: I have two free resources for my teaching buddies today.
The first is a chart to help students analyze tonight's presidential debate.
Obama-Romney "Debate" Analysis Chart
The second is a handy PDF for making a Formative Flip, a quick assessment tool that can be used in ANY classroom.
Formative Flip
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Put that sentence on Weight Watchers . . .
Today's Zingers:
I've been working on conciseness with all of my classes recently, and I had one group take a sentence from one of their own essays and write it on the board. When one student finished writing his, his friend said, "Dude, you need to put that sentence on Weight Watchers and trim the fat."
My AP English Language students are working on style analysis this quarter. Last week, they analyzed Bill Clinton's DNC speech, and one student wrote, "Clinton tries to convince his listeners to re-elect Obama. People "on the fence" know which meadow they want to be in. If it's one that breeds donkeys or elephants, only they know."
Yesterday, my juniors began studying "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God," the fiery sermon by Jonathan Edwards. When I asked the group what they knew of the time period in which the sermon was delivered, one boy confidently said, "The Great Awakening happened just before the Great Depression."
Today's Tip/Resource: I need to clarify the way in which I bundle my products on TeachersPayTeachers because many of my buyers are purchasing the same item twice. My 77-page unit, Style Analysis (or Rhetorical Analysis) for AP English Language and Composition, is also sold in pieces. The following products are part of that unit, so please be aware that when you purchase the unit, you purchase ALL of these items as well. It is much less expensive to buy the entire unit than it is to buy the pieces.
If you have made double purchases in error, shoot an e-mail to TpT for reimbursal, OR e-mail me to get a product of equal value for free.
HANDOUTS ONLY for Style Analysis (or Rhetorical Analysis) for AP English Language and Composition
Back Door Syntax Organizer
Tone Words in Categories
AP English Syntax Test
Using Images to Introduce Tone
AP English Style Analysis Tool Box
AP English Syntax Scavenger Hunt
Point of View Terminology Graphic
SOAPS Acronym Visual and Activator
AP English Syntax Bundle
Figurative Language Analysis Bundle
Rhetorical Triangle Graphic
I've been working on conciseness with all of my classes recently, and I had one group take a sentence from one of their own essays and write it on the board. When one student finished writing his, his friend said, "Dude, you need to put that sentence on Weight Watchers and trim the fat."
My AP English Language students are working on style analysis this quarter. Last week, they analyzed Bill Clinton's DNC speech, and one student wrote, "Clinton tries to convince his listeners to re-elect Obama. People "on the fence" know which meadow they want to be in. If it's one that breeds donkeys or elephants, only they know."
Yesterday, my juniors began studying "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God," the fiery sermon by Jonathan Edwards. When I asked the group what they knew of the time period in which the sermon was delivered, one boy confidently said, "The Great Awakening happened just before the Great Depression."
Today's Tip/Resource: I need to clarify the way in which I bundle my products on TeachersPayTeachers because many of my buyers are purchasing the same item twice. My 77-page unit, Style Analysis (or Rhetorical Analysis) for AP English Language and Composition, is also sold in pieces. The following products are part of that unit, so please be aware that when you purchase the unit, you purchase ALL of these items as well. It is much less expensive to buy the entire unit than it is to buy the pieces.
If you have made double purchases in error, shoot an e-mail to TpT for reimbursal, OR e-mail me to get a product of equal value for free.
HANDOUTS ONLY for Style Analysis (or Rhetorical Analysis) for AP English Language and Composition
Back Door Syntax Organizer
Tone Words in Categories
AP English Syntax Test
Using Images to Introduce Tone
AP English Style Analysis Tool Box
AP English Syntax Scavenger Hunt
Point of View Terminology Graphic
SOAPS Acronym Visual and Activator
AP English Syntax Bundle
Figurative Language Analysis Bundle
Rhetorical Triangle Graphic
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Constipated Red Blood Cells
Today's Zingers: Another bonus day! You get three student funnies for the price of none!
1. (Out of context, this one's funny.) "That red blood cell looks constipated."
2. (From a student's memoir) "She looked as scared as a raccoon that was almost hit by a minivan."
3. (Again, a gem out of context) "Why rats need erectile dysfunction medication, I'll never know."
Today's Tip and Resource: I LOVE http://www.weebly.com/! You can create a free teacher web site and then set up student accounts. Students can create multiple-page sites, and the instruction you would front load aligns with Common Core. Imagine knocking out several standards as students analyze literary and informational texts, write, and collaborate on their sites.
1. (Out of context, this one's funny.) "That red blood cell looks constipated."
2. (From a student's memoir) "She looked as scared as a raccoon that was almost hit by a minivan."
3. (Again, a gem out of context) "Why rats need erectile dysfunction medication, I'll never know."
Today's Tip and Resource: I LOVE http://www.weebly.com/! You can create a free teacher web site and then set up student accounts. Students can create multiple-page sites, and the instruction you would front load aligns with Common Core. Imagine knocking out several standards as students analyze literary and informational texts, write, and collaborate on their sites.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
AssAss ination
Today's (Overheard) Zinger:
Student A: "How do you spell assassination?"
Student B: "Oh! I know this! Double ass-i-nation."
Bonus: "Everyone in my urgent family does it." I think she was going for immediate.
Today's Tip: As you come to grips with the new Common Core standards, mount a pacing guide, unit guide, or standards grid on a bulletin board near your desk. As you incorporate each standard, highlight what you've done.
Today's Resource: I created a grid so that I can see all the Common Core ELA 9-10 standards at once. It made so much much sense to me that I thought it would be valuable to others. I'd love some feedback on the format.
Student A: "How do you spell assassination?"
Student B: "Oh! I know this! Double ass-i-nation."
Bonus: "Everyone in my urgent family does it." I think she was going for immediate.
Today's Tip: As you come to grips with the new Common Core standards, mount a pacing guide, unit guide, or standards grid on a bulletin board near your desk. As you incorporate each standard, highlight what you've done.
Today's Resource: I created a grid so that I can see all the Common Core ELA 9-10 standards at once. It made so much much sense to me that I thought it would be valuable to others. I'd love some feedback on the format.
Common Core Instruction Tracker (ELA 9-10 Grade Band)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)